I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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