The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
