Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
