i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
