Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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