the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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