on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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