He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
