I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
