Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
FUCK WHALES
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
