like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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