i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
