i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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