Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
