You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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