it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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