Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
