It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
