Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
