I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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