So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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