no. you can't hotbox the world.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
