whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
birth control should be required to get into college
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
