That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
