my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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