Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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