So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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