I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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