You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
