Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
okay pat passed out under dana's car
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
