During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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