If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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