ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize