Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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