Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
