He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
pray to the hookup gods
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
