Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
