Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
