Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
