Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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