:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Someone shattered a urinal.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
