his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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