Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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