I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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