He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
