What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
