Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
