the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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