I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
