when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
