If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
