This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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