he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
