Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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