what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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