he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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