Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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