i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize