I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
