yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
wow bdsm is so cute
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize